I made a personal blog, if you would like to follow it. Here is a recent entry I made about how to be a gentleman:
http://rebelliongonzalez.tumblr.com/post/4189023445/jason-hackett-on-how-to-be-a-gentleman
Enjoy!
To reiterate once more if you had forgotten, a few weeks ago, I found my journal for an English class when I was 12 years old. While I was 12, I very quickly figured out that the teacher read nothing of what I wrote. Here is how I exploited this information:
I think the balloon people should be set free. They have done nothing wrong. It was the man who swallowed too much helium that took them away. The government made balloons to cover up their kidnapping.
Oh, right, of course. That makes a lot of sense.
I wish that i could fly. It would be funny if I dive bombed straight at my brother Then pull up right at the last second. I could go anywhere. I might wish to be invisible.
Well, this one shows off my sadism nicely.
If I had the Pantaleio chicken of death, I would be ruler of hens everywhere. But, all I have is a useless monkey. He can’t even put on pants. But, he can fly an F-15 fighter. He has blown away a piece of corn from 50 feel away with a revolver. I’m beginning to suspect he is some sort kind of war monkey from Mars.
Yeah, that monkey kinda sounds like the opposite of useless.
I am doing Sadaam Husien. He is evil, and murdered many of his family members. He was abused in his childhood. He had no father. Blah blah blah. Yackorle (????) big cheese. Mustard filled baloney khakis taste good in salami sause. Kansas pants work best.
Reeeeaaally gave up on that initial train of thought, didn’t I.
Alright, that’s all for now.
DEAR ABBY: I’m concerned about my friend “Nyla.” She’s 15 and pregnant. Nyla and her family are happy about it! As her friend, I’m not. I think she should have waited.
I keep telling her that her life is ruined and she’ll regret having a baby this early, but she doesn’t listen. It would be better if she had help, but she doesn’t. Nyla’s family is poor.
Now she is angry with me because of what I keep telling her. What can I do to help her understand me, and not get mad when I tell her something? — VIRGINIA TEEN
DEAR VIRGINIA TEEN:
Uh, I’m concerned about you. Quite frankly, if you can’t see the value in being a 15 year old mom, you really don’t have a place in modern society.
You see, the country is utterly fascinated with teen pregnancy, and with good reason.
First reason: It’s adorable
Think about it. There is nothing cuter than kids taking care of kids, especially when one of the kids came out of the other kid’s pussy. 
AWWW!! YOU USED TO BE HIS CUM!!
Second reason: More MILFs.
Think about it. When you have your baby super young, your chances of being a MILF are increased dramatically. And if there is one thing America loves more than pregnant teenagers, it’s hot women who have made people with their wombs. Here, I made a handy chart for you:
As you can see, MILFs are by far the most important thing in this country, and with the demand for MILFs increasing with each fiscal year, we are constantly in need of a fresh supply of fuckable mothers. And the only way to do that is by impregnating more and more teenage girls.
Third reason: It’s sexy.
Enough said.
Fourth reason: Abortion is wrong.
Look, what is Nyla supposed to do. Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ tells us that modern day abortions are wrong, and specifically points out the abortion pill, RU-486, as trappings of Satan and his evil minions. What, you want you friend to go to Hell just because she likes to have the guy rawdog it when they fuck? I mean, she’s probably going to Hell anyway, because she’s poor, but if you were a real friend, you wouldn’t want to make her chances even worse, would you?
So there you have it. You are conclusively wrong, VIRGINIA TEEN. And hey, if you’re really so upset about being around pregnant teens, maybe think twice about living in Virginia next time.
I deliver pizzas because I like having money while I look for a real job, and during the course of a day, I have a lot of downtime I generally spend playing with my phone. So, I got a sequencing app for it, and now I attempt to be productive and make music on it. Here’s stuff I’ve made:
Enjoy, maybe?
i don’t know why i made this but whatever
In case you had forgotten, I recently found my journal for an English class when I was 12 years old. I quickly figured out that the teacher read nothing of what I wrote. Here is how I exploited it:
One day, I went next door. They are wolves. The ate my cousin, but he was too nasty, so they threw him up. He made a happy dance up. Then they slashed him to bits. He made great puppy chow. My dog grew up big and muscular.
Some of these are uncomfortably violent, like the above entry. MAYBE A TEACHER SHOULD HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR WARNING SIGNS OF FUTURE UNREST IN THE WRITINGS OF HER PUPILS.
I want to be famous for being a great nonsense writer. If you read my free writes (Whitener, Stephen J., TJ, and Master george), you will understand what I mean. They make no sense at all, but reflects on …my inner feelings, (Whatever that means!). It would be great to share these joyful entries with the rest of the outside world.
Well at least I was self-aware enough to know they made no sense.
Tomorrow I am going to fly, like a bird in the sky, up so high. It will be excilarating. Then chickens will pilot jets and crash onto a butchery, and we will have a bunch of fried chicken. I will take credit of course. It will be called the first good airplane food. Ha-Ha, He-He. Jason made a funny.
Jesus, even the way I write out my laughs is creepy.
Reading is very bably. Bably means impish. If you don’t like that, you can say it’s a bunch of jibberish. I like the word jibberish. Jibberish, jibberish, jibberish, jibberish. Pantalones are pants in Spanish. I like spanish chicken. Yum! It really tastes good. It is really good for you too.
I guess I really stopped giving a fuck at this point.
I GET CONFRONTATIONAL WITH MY TEACHER IN THIS ONE:
I don’t want anyone to walk in my moccasins. The only time that I might is if I had a really bad report card. That would be a very good time to do that. Then they wouldn’t think that everything was go…ing wrong in that class.
I hope that you sometimes read certain journals. It doesn’t seem like you do.
Well, ok, more passive aggressive than confrontational, but still!
Once upon a time, there was a young boy. He was a very naughty boy, but around the holidays, he tried to clean up his act. One day, after supper, the little boy and his mother went to the mall to see “Santa”. Just as he was walking up the walkway, something bubbled in his stomach. Aw man, he thought, I shouldn’t have had that 3rd bowl of chili. So when “Santa” asked what he wanted for Christmas, he said, “Not this!” Then he farted on him. “Santa” died instantly. Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!
Ughghgh stop fake laughing like that, 12 year old me, it’s really unsettling.
Alright, that’ll be all for today.
Dear Not Abby:
- CLEANING UP
I just found my daily journal for an English class from 1999. In said journal, once a week there was a required free write. Being an enterprising twelve year old boy, I quickly discovered my teacher literally didn’t read anything I wrote, and was just checking it for length. Thus, I began writing some of the weirdest shit I’ve seen that didn’t come from someone who is clinically insane. I’ll share some with you now:
My pants are six sizes to big. they also have wings. They fly through the air like a magic weasle. It is also dancing on pancakes. It was very bizarre. Then it did the splits on my Dad’s head. It swam in a pool of apple sauce.
Uhhh.
I think all of the turtles in the world should be free to wear underwear in malls. But only edible underware, because the other stuff tastes nasty, and it might choke them. Also, cheese should be on the endagered species list. They need t…o have more protection against cheese-eating Green Bay Packers Fans. I like to dance in bowls of salsa. I dance with tortilla chips. Then I ate them. Ha-Ha-Ha! They were very tasty. I don’t like to ride ponies. I only like to ride sausages. They are bumpy, but nice to slice in half. Pants!
UHHHHHHH.
This next one is entitled “Suspense”. I wish I had the picture I was attempting to describe:
In this picture, the cat looks like it wants to eat the spider (I don’t see why). Since the cat pants. Long sheets are japanese and eat weasles
what.
I think that being free is a gift. you have to be very jolly. But if you aren’t it is hard to be free. speaking of bees, I just got stung by one on the way to school. I was on the ground screaming, (It was a poisonis bee) when a weasle said “Get up, you loser!” I said “It is full of poison.”
Some of these don’t even begin to make sense:
The theme in here is shmoboge. It dances in ouster shells and wakes lions. the lions eat the shmoboges and make a la-la dance time. The neighbors got mad and ate their wrinkles. It was too shmobogeish for words. Pants are yummy. Puppies eat pants for breakfast. Pants ate them at once
That’s all for today.